Once Again
by SpixieIsTrueLove2289
Summary: They'll become friends, but end as lovers. A confession, a night of passion, and a miracle will be just a few of the many events that result in Devlins death that will change Spinelli and Maxie forever. R&R! Story retitled and rewritten.
1. Words are like weapons

**Once Again**

A story about two people who found love in the place they least likely expected.

**Prologue**

She stood in a room full of guests, guests to her Cousin Robin's wedding. The reception was almost over and for most of the hour she had been dancing with multiple gentlemen, but the man she really wanted to be in the presence of, the man she really wanted to hold her hand and have his other around her waist, she had yet to dance with. Instead of telling him that she never thought their friendship would transpire into something as beautiful as love she was in the presence of her father who was holding her beautiful four month old baby and listening to him talk with her obstetrician, the handsome new doctor at General Hospital who joined the staff over a year ago. She stood there listening to them briefly converse on politics, golf and work, but as Mac began to hint around her relationship with the doctor, the feeling in her heart that had slowly been building up for the past couple of minutes, had finally reached it's breaking point. As she felt his hand press against her back, she got this awful feeling in the pit of her stomach and an even stronger feeling in her heart. This feeling in her heart was like a voice, Robin had once told her that even though Georgie was gone, she could be found in all of us and those that knew her best had a piece of her in their heart, that piece was a little voice telling them what was right and what was wrong. At that moment Maxie Jones's heart was telling to go back to the man that wanted to dance with her, go back to the man who looked hurt when she chose the doctor over him, go back to the man who's the father of her child and the keeper of her heart.

The conductor of the band nodded at the song to be played, "And now for the last dance of the night, a special request, Once Again by Frankie Jordan."

She knew she had heard the title before, it sounded familiar, but it wasn't until the lyrics played that she became reminded of where she had heard it.

_I welcome you inside my life  
For what you do  
Oh you make me happy  
So very happy  
Once again_

"Spinelli," she said under her breath turning around hoping to see him sitting at the table, but instead saw a small box on the chair.

_Here I stand  
So inspired  
To take your hand  
And never take for granted  
What I was granted  
Once again_

"Where is he?" She frantically looked around the room.

"Who?" Mac asked.

"Spinelli!" She yelled at him before running off to the table where she picked up the box, "Shoot." She looked up from the sparkling ring wondering where her prince had run off to and then she saw Robin and Patrick who pointed out the room and like that, she was gone.

_I never thought I could love again  
I never thought I'd let somebody else in  
I never thought I could trust and then  
Here I am in love once again_

"Spinelli!" She shouted at the top of the stairs.

He stood at the bottom of the set of stairs she was at, every ounce of him was telling him to keep going, to not turn around, she'd only break his heart further.

"Is this for real?" She asked as he slowly faced her for the voice in his heart was telling him to hear her out.

"Is what for real?" He fully turned around to see what she was talking about.

Walking down the steps she waited till she stood in front of him, "Is this, what I think it means?"

"What do you think it means?" He asked her hoping she'd be able to figure out.

She looked at him not amused by the back and forth questioning; all she wanted was simple answer.

"Yes, Maxie, can I have it back," he looked at her just wanting to forget this night.

"Only on one condition," she looked at him hoping he would know what she wanted him to do.

"What?" He tried to grab the box but she whisked it away.

"That you don't leave here without asking me," she put it in plain sight for him to grab.

"What makes you think I want to ask you now?" He took the box.

"You don't?" She looked worrisome at him for she never thought she'd be too late.

"I don't know Maxie," he walked away from her down the next flight of stairs.

"Spinelli wait!" She ran after him.

"Maxie I'll pick her up tomorrow, I hope you and the doctor live happily ever after," he slid his hands in his pockets slowly walking down the stairs.

"The doctor?" She looked confused and then finally realized he had jumped to the wrong conclusion.

She ran down the stairs as fast as she could till she caught up to him where she placed her hand on his arm forcing him to stop and look at her, "Spinelli you can't be serious."

"No of course not, I Damian Spinelli can't be serious, I only quit working for best friend, decided to be a father thus giving up my free nights of ruling cyberspace, and oh yeah let's not forget the part where I stopped speaking 'spinelli' and use the rest of my energy when I'm not running my detective agency, to be jerked around by you, I do it all for you, to make you happy and you don't think I'm serious?" He frowned at her while nodding in disappointment before turning away from her and slowly making his way down the stairs.

_You touched my heart  
Now I can breathe  
You saved my life  
And still I can't believe you made it happen  
Made it happen  
Once again_

"Spinelli stop! Just stop okay…" She continued following him closely down the stairs asking him to stop and when he finally did she tripped on the last step and fell directly into his arms.

His eyes fell upon hers and he suddenly found himself having a hard time asking "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said as she slowly fixed her position and was now standing right in front of him looking into his eyes, "Spinelli…"

He looked at her not wanting to be this close to her anymore, it hurt to much for her to look at him the way she does and it all be for friendship and nothing more.

As he tried to walk away she placed her hand on his cheek, "How could you ever think I'd want to be with our Obstetrician over the father of my child?"

"There's only one man I want to be with and he's standing right in front of me," she looked into his eyes and pulled him into a kiss.

_I never thought I could love again  
I never thought I'd let somebody else in  
I never thought I could trust and then  
Here I am in love once again_

The kiss was great, but like all her other kisses, he felt like it lacked truth behind it; it lacked what she was really trying to say. It was as if she used it to change subjects, to make things okay for the moment, but later would change her mind.

He leaned out of the kiss with a frown, "I'm sorry." He removed his hand off her cheek and walked to the doors.

"What do you want from me?" She wondered why the kiss wasn't enough.

"Not a kiss to patch things up for the moment," he stood at the exit getting ready to leave.

"Wait!" she shouted as he placed his hands on the doors.

"What if that's not good enough for me?" She walked towards him, "What if I want something more?"

"I'm listening…" He removed his hands from the door.

She walked towards him as he leaned on the doorframe, "After we came from the abortion clinic you could see I was scared, you knew that, you knew I was afraid to have a baby and what did you do?" She stopped right in from of him.

"We sat in your car while that song played and you told me everything was going to be okay. You told me you would take care of me and you said I had nothing to worry about," she placed her hand on his cheek, "And then you let me cry on your shoulder all night, you held me in your arms and I felt so safe that I stopped crying because I began to believe you and when you looked into my eyes you knew that, that's why you kissed my forehead and told me you would always be there for me no matter what. Regardless of the baby you said I could always count on you."

"You still can," he looked deep into her eyes wishing her next words would answer his prayers, his wishes, his dreams.

"A part of me realized that night that not only was I thankful that the guy that knocked me up cared enough to stay and be my best friend, but I realized that I could love you," she saw his eyes look up at hers, "I fell in love with you that night because you kept me from falling apart and I fell in love with you everyday after that because you cared not just about the baby, but me too, you loved both of us and I love you now for giving me the best life I could have ever imagined."

_And when I see you baby this is when  
I want to scream it at the top of my lungs  
I love you baby!  
I know I'll never have this chance again_

She planted both hands on his cheeks, "I love you and only you."

"Good because there's something I've been meaning to ask you," he removed her hands from his cheeks.

Getting down on one knee he looked up at her and smiled, "I love you and I love our daughter and I would be honored if you would be my wife, will you marry me?"

Tears fell from her cheeks, they were the words she had been waiting to hear for a long time, "Yes, I'll marry you."

He laughed in disbelief, the moment he had only dreamed of was finally coming true and little did he know that this had been a moment she had been dreaming of all her life and in a way the mysterious man whom she never thought was revealed to her in her dreams, it was him all along, she just wasn't looking.

_I never thought I could love again  
I never thought I'd let somebody else in  
I never thought I could trust and then  
Here I am in love once again_

He quickly got off his knee and took the ring out of the box and placed it on her finger, "You've made me the happiest man on earth…"

"Don't you mean cyberspace?" She put her arms around his neck.

He laughed nodding his head in playfulness, only she would say that, only she would say it and make him laugh, "I love you Maxie Jones." He swept her off her feet, "Spinelli! Where are we going?"

"Back to the reception hall, I want to see the look on his face when he sees me walk in with you and then after that we're switching back to Dr. Lee as your Obstetrician okay?" He walked towards the elevator.

"Okay," she laughed as he pulled her into another kiss and pushed the button up to floor of the reception.

"And then…" She looked into his eyes hoping he'd say what they would do afterwards.

"Then you're gonna dance with me."

"Oh I am?" She planted her hand on his cheek, "Well there's a reason I saved the last dance for you."

He looked at her puzzled and she rolled her eyes, "Because you always remember the last dance," she leaned into kiss him, but he pulled away, "Just to let you know, you had me at Spinelli."

He smiled seeing her face turn into a playful annoyance, "Spinelli!" She hit his shoulder wanting to go on a rant, but he put his fingers over her mouth, "Shh…you'll ruin it."

He waited for her to smile and then he pulled her into a kiss, a kiss that started it all, a kiss that was now ending it all, it was sealing there fait as forever in love, forever together and forever living the fairytale they dreamed of.

_I welcome you inside my life  
For what you do  
Oh you make me happy  
So very happy  
Once again..._

This is their story, from beginning to end, this is how two people came together as friends, but ended as lovers.

**Chapter 1: Words are like weapons they wound sometimes**

"SPINELLI!" Spinelli jumped at Jason's harsh calling of his name in the interrogation room.

"It's best for Jake," Jason quietly muttered as Mac opened the door and entered the room.

"You're free to go," Mac motioned while cringing at having to let the town's number one hit-man once again leave the precinct.

Jason nodded, getting up from the chair and walking to Spinelli who was slowly shuffling to the door when he suddenly stopped as Mac addressed him, not Jason, but him.

He turned to the commissioner not at all expecting the words he was about to say, words that would make him realize once and forever what Jason had been trying to explain to him all along.

"Some how I know you're the reason Maxie almost got killed last night," Mac pointed his fingers at him. There was time when Mac liked Spinelli, there was time when he thought the odd boy whom he knew was sweet for that was why Georgie befriended him, was good for his daughters, but now, now he wasn't so sure.

Jason glanced at Spinelli knowing he didn't need to hear Mac's lecture for he would repeat the same words later, but in a manner that wouldn't hurt him as much as Mac's were just about to, "Come on Spinelli…"

"You can leave," Mac pointed his fingers to Jason, "I need to have a chat with Spinelli."

"No you don't," Jason looked at him like he didn't need to talk to him at all.

"This doesn't concern you Morgan, now get out!" Mac raised his voice.

Jason looked away from Mac onto Spinelli, "Wait outside."

Spinelli was quite cautioned by Mac's behavior wondering what he had done wrong, he and Jason had saved Maxie's life, it wasn't there fault that she had snuck into the mob mobile and had traveled with them to Canadian border.

"Stone-." He stopped speaking after getting Jason's cold stare, "I'll be out in a second."

Spinelli nodded, turning to the door and as he turned the door knob he looked one last time at Mac's glare which had only intensified since Jason stepped in.

Closing the door behind him he stood right outside the interrogation trying to get an earful of what was being said when Lucky looked up from his desk to see the computer geek eavesdropping, "Hey!"

Spinelli quickly turned away from the door, "Aw the brother of the blonde one."

Lucky looked at him with annoyance, "Don't start that! My name is Lucky! Now sit your ass down and don't you dare walk over to this door, you hear?"

Spinelli nervously nodded and then became worrisome when Lucky planted his hand on his shoulder and forced him to sit down on the bench, "I don't know why my sister puts up with you, but I sure as hell don't have to."

Lucky smirked at him before looking up to see Cruz walk towards him with paper work, "Hey the autopsy on Devlin just came in."

"Thanks," Lucky smiled, "Be sure this paper work doesn't get filed onto the computers, I'm sure Spinelli here will be hacking into it in less that an hour right?" Lucky looked up at Cruz who was laughing and then put his own two cents in, "Cause we all know that's the only reason your buddy Morgan puts up with you…"

Spinelli frowned at their attempts to get him to act out and as he slowly glanced at the door Lucky blocked the view, "Morgan can't help you now Spinelli, you're all alone, you might want to take notes on that computer of yours, title them, "how to defend myself without the help of Jason Morgan."

"Nice one," Cruz cheered only for them to become distracted by the tapping of a designer shoe.

"Or maybe he should title his notes "how to deal with corrupted cops." Maxie smirked, "bullet number one, ignore their petty comments."

Maxie walked towards Spinelli where she stopped right in front of him and turned to Lucky, "Bullet number two, stand up." She looked at Spinelli to stand up, "And bullet number three, walk away." She took Spinelli's hand and walked him away from the cops.

"Are you okay?" She asked gently letting go of his hand and placing it on his cheek in concern for his well being.

"Yeah," he slowly nodded, "The jackal is fine, I just wish I could say the same about Stone Cold." Spinelli looked at the closed door of the interrogation room wondering what Mac was saying to Jason.

"Look! I know you weren't the reason Maxie was there last night, but he…" Mac raised his voice as Jason began to interupt him.

"I'll talk to him okay? But you need to tell Maxie to stay away while he's working for me; she got herself into this because she can't mind her own business," Jason pounced back for he wasn't about to let Mac blame this all on Spinelli, Maxie was just as much guilty.

Maxie looked away from the door that Spinelli was staring at, "Are you really okay though?"

"Spinelli?" She asked again and he finally tuned back in.

"I'm sorry blonde one," he formed a slight smile.

Lucky sat on his desk while Cruz stood there, "I don't get it…"

"Don't get what?" Lucky looked at him.

"What does she see in him?" Cruz asked knowing he wasn't her type.

"Hell if I know, all she knows is cops," Lucky grinned at Cruz reminiscing their history with the girl.

"All she's fucked is cops," Cruz corrected him which surprised Lucky for he never once thought that Cruz would speak such strong language around the precinct.

"I think it's time we alert Spinelli on the kind of girl Maxie is," Lucky raised his eye brows and Cruz couldn't agree more.

"You know Spinelli it's sad when a girl has to pick your fights," Lucky crossed his arms.

"And it's sad when police officers can't solve their own crimes," she smirked at them knowing she had won by the looks on their faces, "Come on Spinelli, let's get out of here."

"Stop right there!" Mac shouted opening the door, "There is no way in hell you are leaving with him."

Maxie looked at him surprised, "Daddy he's helping me with a project…"

"That's not all he's helping her with," Cruz suggested and because Mac was so irritated with her he let the comment fly.

"I think he's helped you enough," Mac walked from the doorway of the interrogation room, "Dragging you off to random parts of Port Charles, accusing innocent people of crimes and my favorite deed almost getting you killed last night…"

"Dad," Maxie looked at him to not do this, to not blame Spinelli for her mistake.

"No Maxie, I already lost one daughter, infact I think, if I recall, I believe that's how it started with Georgie."

"Mac," David Harper looked across the room knowing he'd regret his words later.

Mac ignored the looks of his officers, "You don't even care do you?"

Spinelli nodded as if Mac couldn't be any more wrong, "Sir…"

"Georgie was supposed to go to Europe this summer, she was supposed to be planning her trip with you, not solving a mystery, not trying to figure out who the text message killer was." Mac placed his hands on his hips, "I trusted you to draw the line, to have sense like Morgan does, to not involve people you care about."

Maxie couldn't believe her father's words, "Well dad maybe if you hired smarter cops Spinelli wouldn't have had to take matters into his own hands," Maxie stood tall next to Spinelli not at all letting her father's words hurt him.

"And because he took matters into his own hands, like he's seen from his great role model," Mac glanced at Jason, "Georgie died."

Walking closer to Spinelli, "You didn't put the rope around her, but you sure dug her grave."

"Enough," Jason emerged from behind Mac, "Spinelli let's go."

"That's the answer Jason? Not even talk about it? Just ignore what you and I and every officer in this place knows is the truth?" Mac looked back at Lucky and Cruz, "People get hurt and die because of you."

He continued, "Georgie died because of her connection to you and I'll be damned if I lose another daughter."

Jason caught Spinelli's hurt face, a face of fear, a face of innocence, "Spinelli let's go." Jason gently put his hand on Spinelli's shoulder.

"Don't walk away from me!" Mac tried to make a go at Spinelli, but Jason turned around to have his hand on Mac's chest and his other on Spinelli's shoulder.

"Let the commissioner go Morgan!" Lucky, Cruz and every other officer in the room had their guns drawn.

Maxie looked at them like this was ridiculous, Jason was barely touching her father and yet they were ready to kill him. She wanted to say something to them, but her dad beat her to it, "Men stand down."

Lucky eyed Morgan aiming his gun at him, "Commissioner are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure!" Mac pushed Jason's hand off him knowing he had misled his men.

Jason looked at Mac, "You made your point." Jason was practically begging him not to continue this further, but Mac wasn't even close to being finished.

"Spinelli, Jason has too much sense to put Maxie in danger, but you, you don't have any sense at all." Mac ignored Jason's glare to shut up, "Cause if you did Georgie would still be alive."

Jason looked away at Mac knowing he wasn't going to stop mouthing off so he turned away from him and grabbed Spinelli harshly around the shoulder, "Spinelli let's GO."

"Stay away from my daughter," Mac warned ignoring Maxie's whines, "Maxie!" He looked straight at her before looking back at Spinelli, "Don't you ever go near her again and if I or my officers so much as find you within in hundred yards of her or Robin for that matter, so help me…"

"Spinelli you don't have to hear this," Jason forced them to walk, but Spinelli just stood there and the harder he pushed the more Spinelli brushed him off, "No."

"Spinelli he's not gonna reason with you, now come on," Jason insisted, but Spinelli pushed his arm away and walked to Mac.

"I would never…never wish Maximista any…any harm, just like I never wished Faithful Georgie any harm, but your wrath is duly noted and I will abide by your command," Spinelli looked at him with his heart shred to pieces.

"Spinelli," Maxie spoke his name almost as sad as he was, "You can't possibly…"

Spinelli looked away from her not at all able to stand the look of her face, "Commissioner Sir, I'm sorry for any harm I've inflicted on you and your family, Faithful Georgie was a blessing to me, she was someone I cared very deeply for and was a very brave and dear friend to me. I promise that Maxie will not face the same faith Georgie faced, you have my word."

"No," Maxie wiped a tear from her eyes, "Don't listen to him."

"I'm sorry blonde one," he frowned before looking away and making his way out the precinct.

"Spinelli," Jason said firmly trying to grab his arm so they could walk out together, but Spinelli pushed it aside knowing exactly what he had to do, "I'll see you at home Stone Cold."

Jason stood there with a slight frown at how hurt his friend was, "This was why I wanted you to let me talk to him," Jason turned around to Mac, "Because now you've taken something from him that he'll never get back." Jason nodded in not only disappointment, but in anger.

As soon as Jason left the precinct Maxie looked at Mac, "Are you happy now?"

"It's for the best," he insisted.

"Maybe for you! Georgie was the only one that saw something good in me and when she died, I had no one!"

Mac nodded in disagreement, "I…"

"No!" She put her hand up to stop him from walking towards her, "Spinelli is the only one that makes me feel the way Georgie made me feel and now he's gone."

"Maxie honey, please understand Spinelli is a threat to your life because he works with Morgan and Corinthos, do you want to end up like Georgie?" He honestly looked at her not knowing anymore.

Never had he felt her cold hand hit his face, "Maxie…"

"At least Georgie lived, she lived more in her 19 years of life than I ever have, she knew what great love was like and that was because of Dillon, another person you didn't want Georgie's life, but she fought to be with him and because of that I know I can look back on her life know it didn't go to waste, I can look back and know she lived a lifetime's worth…" She looked at him coldly before walking away.

"And you know what?" She stopped, "Spinelli and Jason weren't the reason she died, you and this people here you call 'Police officers" are the reason she died."

"Where are you going?" He looked at her not at all amused by her comment for now she had insulted him and his department.

"I'm gonna find Spinelli and tell him that I don't care what you think, I'm gonna do what Georgie did, I'm gonna fight like hell to be with the person I need…"

"And if you do, you can consider yourself out of my house…" He felt like this was the only way to stop her.

"Then I'll stay with Spinelli, Lulu did it, I'm sure Jason won't mind if I stay with Spinelli…"

Lucky and the officers looked at her in disbelief, "You're gonna stay with the enemy?" Lucky walked towards her, "After everything Mac has done for you, you're gonna stay with his worst enemy and the guy who can't even protect you?"

"Spinelli saved my life more times than you can count, which you and I both know isn't very high when you're not under the influence," she insulted his intelligence.

"You bitch," Lucky snarled at her embarrassed by her bringing up his addiction to pills.

"Lucky," Mac glanced at him to watch his language even if she was acting like one, only he wanted to be the one to call her such names.

Maxie smiled at her how quick Lucky lost his confidence to go off on her, "You're all pathetic, no wonder you can't solve any crimes, you all let your anger and your egos get in the way which is why Spinelli has more sense in his little finger than your entire department put together."

"Get out," Mac looked at her, he wasn't gonna take this from her anymore, if she wanted to throw her life away, then so be it, he sure as hell wasn't gonna watch.

"Gladly," she smiled, "I'll call Robin to help me get my things." She started to walk away.

"Give me your key," he put his hand out.

"Fine, if that's what you think is gonna make you feel better, here, goodbye Mac, have fun with your idiot officers," she placed the key in his hand and walked out of the department with one thing on her mind, Spinelli.

She ran into the parking shouting Spinelli's name, "Spinelli!" But of course he and Jason were no where to be found. Running to her car she began compounding a list of places he might be at; Jason's penthouse, Kelly's, Georgie's grave?

She put the key's into ignition and just as she put the car in reverse her phone rang, "Spinelli?" She quickly assumed, but it was Kate.

"No it's Kate Howard, Maxie I need you to go downtown and meet Federico at the Metro Court," she asked knowing her number one assistant wouldn't turn this down.

"Can't Lulu do it?" Maxie asked as she pulled out of her parking space.

"No, he asked for you, now Maxie this man has a lot of connections, he can help you further yourself in the fashion world, this is a career decision right here," Kate was a little confused as to why she didn't seem interested.

"Plus," Kate continued, "Lulu called in sick. I have no one else to go," Kate looked down at the lunch plans she had made with Sonny, "I have to meet Sonny for lunch, but I guess I could cancel…"

"No," Maxie quickly stated as she got ready to pull out of the precinct, "You don't have to do that," Maxie didn't want to let her down.

She looked at the road in front of her, if she took a right she'd be on her way to the Metro Court, if she drove straight across to turn into the left lane and go north she would be going to Jason's penthouse. She studied the road for a few brief seconds wondering what to do, Spinelli had always been there for her, had always stopped what he was doing to help her and now when she should be able to do the same, to be there for him, she couldn't find her self making the same sacrifice, "I'll do it Kate, I'll see him, don't worry about it."

"Thank you," Kate smiled in relief, "I promise you won't regret it."

"Yeah let's hope not," she hung up and pulled into the right lane making her way to the Metro Court meanwhile wondering where Spinelli was and what he was doing.

* * *

Hey so what do you think? I'm gonna test the story out for a few more chapters and then see if it's worth continuing. Don't forget to review and if you have any suggestions let me know! Thanks! By the way the italics in the prologue, were lyrics to the song "Once Again" by Frankie Jordan, if you've seen Win a date with Tad Hamilton then you know the song, I was listneing to it and I just thought the song would fit perfectly for Spixie. I think this is going to be a cute story!


	2. Sometimes the only answer is to leave

**Chapter 2**

**Sometimes the only answer is to leave**

_Author's Note:_

Hey guys, next chapter is going to be awesome, SPIXIE! But I won't get to write it until tomorrow because I'm graduating high school tonight and then I'll be partying all night! So I'll have an update like Friday night or Saturday. Anyway don't forget to review and enjoy!

* * *

Jason rushed into the penthouse to hear commotion upstairs, "Spinelli!"

"Up here Stone Cold," Spinelli shouted as he walked from his dresser to his bed.

He ran upstairs, "Look Spin…" He suddenly stopped talking when he saw the suitcase.

"I'll be gone by the time you get back," Spinelli looked at him while tossing his clothes into the suit case that laid across his bed.

"Let's talk," Jason looked up from the suitcase, but Spinelli nodded, "Don't try to keep me from leaving."

"I'm not, but you need to understand something," he walked into the room.

"Nah I don't master, you told the grass hopper over and over again and he didn't listen, well now he's listening," Spinelli grabbed the rest of his clothes and dumped them onto the bed.

"Spinelli," Jason tried to get his attention, to get him to stop for just a few minutes.

"I'm sorry about always pushing you to choose Elizabeth, Jake and little Cam," he looked up at him, "Cause I get it now, I mean I should have done this a long time ago."

"But I'm glad you didn't," Jason softly looked up at him, "You know it was you that found out that Elizabeth was innocent, you saved her, you saved Jake when he was kidnapped…you helped save my family…"

Spinelli smiled, "Well I was only returning a favor, you've saved the Jackal many times." He winked and started to walk away when Jason quietly called his name.

"Spinelli," he waited for Spinelli to face him, "Look I'm not gonna ask you to stay if your leaving because you honestly think Lulu and Maxie would be better off without you, that they'd be safer, but if your leaving thinking that you're a burden to me or to Sonny or because you think your not smart…" Jason looked at him like if that was the case then he needed to stay.

"Then stay because I tell you one thing, you are the best thing that ever happened to me and even Sonny for that matter," Jason looked at him extremely honest, "You are the reason the people we love are safe, you are my wing man and when you leave you will be missed."

"Aw Stone Cold…" Spinelli motioned to hug him.

"Not till you tell me why your really leaving," Jason looked at him with a goofy smile, of course he'd hug the man who was like a brother to him, but he wasn't about to say goodbye until he knew why Spinelli was saying goodbye.

"Commissioner sir is right, Faithful Georgie died because of me, Maximista almost died last night because of me, I don't know how to separate my life with you from my life with them," Spinelli slowly fell to the bed.

"When I found faithful Georgie, she was so cold Jason, so cold that I almost knew she was gone, cause she was always filled with warmth and that was because her heart had so much love in it that she could look past my flaws, she loved me and I…" He nodded in disappointment of what could have been.

"You know Spinelli, you and I are a lot alike. When I was young starting in this business, I was alone, my family couldn't accept me for who I was, but Robin, when I met her for the first time as Jason Morgan, she understood me. She knew me better than anyone and I convinced myself that she could be safe with me, that I could protect her when we fell in love and one night, things happened and it became obvious she was never gonna be safe," he looked away from Spinelli, _so many years ago_, he thought_, so many memories._

"And she tried to live with it, with the danger, but eventually she couldn't and it was over…it was one of the reasons it was over," he remembered how it all came crashing down, he met Carly, Michael was conceived, the secret, AJ…all the little moments that changed his life forever.

He looked back up at Spinelli, "But I know what it's like to love someone who loves you enough to look past your flaws, I understand where you're coming from." Jason suddenly found his arm around Spinelli's back, "I don't know if what you're doing is right because I've left town before thinking I was protecting people…"

"Did it work?" Spinelli looked up at him with hopeless eyes.

"Sometimes, but I eventually came back and…" He removed his hand from Spinelli, "And Spinelli f it doesn't work out, if you leave and don't find what your looking for; peace, a new life. If it's too hard or not hard enough, if you miss me…or Maxie…You can always come home."

"You mean you won't rent the pink room to someone else?" Spinelli slightly smiled at Jason's nod, "Never, it belongs to you."

He was about to say something else when his phone rang, "Sorry…" He looked at the caller ID and it was Elizabeth.

"It's the maternal one isn't it?" Spinelli knew that look, "Go ahead…disrupt this brotherly moment for the woman you love…"

Jason humorously got up from the bed answering his phone, "Is everything okay?" He walked out of the room to leave Spinelli to collect his thoughts.

He looked in his suit case and saw that in his rash behavior he hadn't exactly packed his clothes the best way possible, he knew if his granny was here she'd be lecturing him. Spinelli wasn't necessarily in a rush to leave, he wanted to leave tonight, but he certainly didn't have to leave in the next ten minutes. Taking his clothes out of the suit case, he started folding his clothes when Jason walked back in.

"So are you gonna tell Lulu?" Jason leaned on the doorway.

"Um," he looked down at the suit case, "The blonde one won't even notice that I'm gone."

"Well," he moved from the doorway, "What about Maxie?"

"Um," Spinelli quickly got up from the bed and walked over to his book shelf.

"Spinelli…I can say from experience that leaving without saying goodbye only makes things worse…"

"Um Stone Cold please don't ask the Jackal to explain what he feels for the fashionista," he walked towards the bed, "Because I think my feelings for her might be real…might be more powerful than what the jackal felt for Lulu and I…my heart…"

"Spinelli I understand, you love her and telling her goodbye would break your heart so it's better to leave with all that built up inside of you then to tell her…I get it," Jason actually did get it, it reminded him of his history with Elizabeth, he had done the same thing at one point.

"I appreciate your kindness," Spinelli joined him on the bed.

"You're welcome," Jason smiled and then looked down at his watch, "As much as I would like to help you, I have to go. Sonny and Carly are taking Michael to the facility and a storm is coming so I better get out there before the rain starts which by the way you travel safely tonight…" Jason playfully pointed at him.

"I will," Spinelli smiled.

"Um, come down stairs with me for a few minutes?" Jason asked and of course Spinelli agreed.

As they walked down stairs Jason stopped right in front of the closet, "Stone Cold?" Spinelli wondered what they were doing.

"In honor of being my best right hand man…I commend you…the leather jacket," he opened the closet and took his first leather jacket off the hanger.

"For me?" Spinelli looked at him surprised.

"Yeah, you admire this so much that I thought you should leave with a little part of me on you," Jason realized a second later how awkward that sounded.

"Just try it on," he handed it to him for even though it was too small for him to wear he knew it would probably fit Spinelli and to his astonishment the jacket was still in pretty good shape.

"Good, it fits," Jason smiled.

"Thank you Stone Cold!" Spinelli put his arms around him pulling him into a hug.

"Your welcome, but that's not all," Jason wanted Spinelli to let go of him, "okay I can't tell you the other surprise if you don't let go of me."

"You're giving me your bike?" Spinelli guessed, but Jason looked at him like he had to be joking, "Cause we all know what a great driver you are…"

"Well I just presumed…" Spinelli ranted.

"I'm not giving you a bike," he reached into the closet for a duffel bag, "I don't know if you know where you're going…"

"You got me a duffel bag?" Spinelli didn't understand.

"No!" Jason playfully hit his shoulder before showing what was in the bag, "I don't know how much money you need, but…"

"Um Stone Cold," Spinelli walked away.

"The whole point of this is to leave the life I had with you, if I take your money then…"

"I understand, but here's a least five thousand, get yourself a plan ticket, if you want one of the cars…"

"The mob mobile?" Spinelli asked.

"I guess if you want the mob mobile you can have it," Jason walked over to his desk and pulled out the keys, "I'll have the papers put in your name…"

"Thank you Jason," Spinelli smiled feeling like this was goodbye.

"I just want you to be okay…" Jason almost felt like Spinelli in some ways was his own son, he wanted him to be alright without him.

He walked over to Spinelli looking down at the bag with cash in, "I'll put the keys in here and please take the cash, you can buy yourself all the orange soda and barbeque chips you want."

"Now that you mention it," Spinelli thought that might actually be a good idea.

"Just don't have anymore than two bottles a day…"

"Four…"

"Three…"

"Deal," Spinelli laughed along with Jason and suddenly they were both staring at each other.

"Don't look at me like that, I'm not gonna cry," Jason tried to keep a straight face, but it didn't work, "Come here."

Spinelli hugged him, "Bye Stone Cold…"

"If you ever need anything, if someone gives you any trouble…"

"I'll call you," Spinelli eased out of the hug, "And likewise if you…If you need me to look into something while I'm away I'll do it…I just can't do it here…"

Jason nodded before sticking out his hand, "It was a pleasure."

Spinelli smiled, he never thought Jason held him in such high respect, "No the pleasure was all mine."

"Take care," Jason shook his hand, "Good luck."

Spinelli smiled as Jason stepped away from him and made his way to the door realizing that when he comes back, it'll just be him from now on, "Goodbye Spinelli and hey…Don't be a stranger."

Spinelli laughed, "I'll call you every week."

"Good," Jason smiled with a frown as he waved his hand and closed the door behind him. He took a deep sigh, of course he was happy Spinelli was leaving, if that was what he really wanted, but he could tell in Spinelli's eyes that he didn't want to leave; he didn't want to leave at all.

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Hey don't forget to review! Thanks! Next chapter is Spixie!


	3. The best friend

**Chapter 3: The best friend**

Author's Note:

Hey guys! So I changed the title of the story to "Once Again" because I thought it was better than the other title I had. Also there is a prologue added to chapter 1, so go back and read that, it's just a bit of fluff. The theme song for this story is "Once Again" by Frankie Jordan and if I get some time maybe I'll make a little teaser video. Anyway I know I promised Spixie for this chapter, but I've decided to include it in the next chapter. Don't forget to review and as always enjoy!

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He walked out of the shower with a white towel around his waist and using another towel to dry his hair which was drooping in his eyes. He looked at his packed suit case on the bed and his suit sitting lying next to it along with his old fashion hat that he had grown a custom to wearing when ever he went out. Just as he walked over to the bed to get dressed he heard a pounding at the door and sprinted downwards thinking it was Jason or perhaps even Maxie.

"Spinelli!" She shouted banging on the door again.

Nope it definitely wasn't Jason and although Maxie had been known to be just as impatient there was only one blonde one to shout like she did, Lulu.

As he cracked the door open trying to avoid her presence for he didn't want anyone, but Jason to know he was leaving, she shouted, "Spinelli! It's Lulu…"

"What took you so long?" She walked in not at all noticing the fact that he was half naked.

He closed the door muttering under his breath, "sure just come in."

"Spinelli I must have shouted…" She turned around to see him in a towel and then looked at his wet hair, "Oh right, sorry, sorry Spinelli!" She felt embarrassed, "Um go finish upstairs and I'll wait down here."

He could see as she took a seat on the couch that something had obviously upset her, more so than usual, "Okay, but may I say blonde one you look very distraught right now," he looked at her a little worried.

She looked at him as if she wanted to cry, "Spinelli it turned pink."

He looked at her a little confused, "Blonde one?" He took a seat on the coffee table.

She held up a white bag, "Look, look at it and tell me you don't see a pink plus sign."

He took the bag in his hand and as he reached for what was in the bag she folded her hands in her face, "I don't know how it happened."

Pulling out the box he read the label, _Pregnancy Test_. He glanced up at her to see her more troubled then ever and then glanced back down at the box and removed the strip where he looked at the results and then at the box to see what the results meant.

"Lulu, you're gonna have wee one," he smiled looking up at her.

"I know," she softly said with tears in her eyes.

He put the box in the bag and then joined her on the couch, "I take it this news isn't a blessing."

She closed her eyes for a minute and then leaned back on the couch, "I can't have another abortion."

Glancing at him with her eyes open, "But I can't have this baby."

He nodded trying to understand her words, but to be honest couldn't understand why she couldn't have a baby, "Blonde one I understand you weren't expecting this but…"

"But I can't, Spinelli I can't put my family through the same kind of hell I put them through two years ago, I just can't do it."

"I don't believe that," he looked at her in disbelief, "A baby is a good thing." He gently touched her stomach pointing to the little baby, "They're so happy, so sweet, so much fun."

"Have you ever been around a baby…besides Jake?" She looked at him like he almost had the wrong assumption about parenting; it isn't all fun and games.

"No, but, but you tell me one reason why you shouldn't have this baby, why you and Johnny shouldn't be parents," he smiled readjusting his position on the bed.

"Let me see, first because I'm too young, Johnny and I are twenty years old, twenty, that's not the age to raise a kid," she could see he didn't see it as a good enough reason.

"Okay then because although money probably wouldn't be an issue, I just got a job, a job that I kind of like…"

"Even though you took it to despise the Maximista," he wandered his eyes away from her.

"The point is I finally have the life I want and a baby would…"

"Complicate things, I get it," he sprung up from the couch.

"And Spinelli what about the danger, look at Michael, he's in a coma probably because of Johnny and now he's going to be a father, he's not father material and neither am I mother material."

Spinelli leaned against the desk crossing his arms, "You know I still haven't heard a good reason yet…" He saw her blank stair as if he had to be kidding.

"Look blonde one, no one is ever ready to be a parental unit, no one knows the money, the time, the love that a wee one needs, but they find a way to provide it. There are plenty of people living proof of that, Doctor Robin, the Valkyrie, Fair Elizabeth, the mother of the goddess."

"But I didn't plan…"

"Lulu the best things in life aren't planned." He walked from the desk to the foot of the stairs where he turned to her, "I don't know what you want me to say, personally blonde one, babies are fun, they're cute, sometimes smelly, but…well…" He walked from the stairs to the couch.

"Stone Cold told me that when he held baby Jake it was the best and worst thing that had ever happened to him…"

Lulu didn't understand so he explained, "It was the best moment of his life because the minute he held him, he knew he loved his son, no doubt, but he also knew that he couldn't keep him. He knew that this was probably going to be one of the very few times he'd ever get to hold his son, that's why it was the worst because he knew everyday that he wasn't with Jake, that he wasn't their to raise him, to father him, his heart would break."

"A child makes you feel things you never thought you would feel, it makes you love someone unconditionally, I think, I think you want this baby, I think you want it more than you've ever wanted anything…" He gently touched her hand.

"I'm just so scared; I'm so scared that I'll…"

"That what?" Spinelli looked into her eyes, "That you'll love it? Love being a mother?" He knew it was a yes.

"Shut up," she playfully hit him.

"Aw I knew it," he smiled, "You can do this."

"If I have you I can," she looked down at his hand, "You're my best friend you know that right?"

"I do," he nodded feeling guilty that he'd be leaving in a few hours and she'd never hear from him again.

"Tell him Lulu, tell Johnny, he loves you," he knew he had to leave her with someone who would take care of her, treasure her the way he would and Johnny, despite his father, was someone he liked Lulu with.

"You think?" She wasn't sure.

"Why wouldn't he?" He smiled at her, "You're kind, you're smart, you take care of your friends and defend them, plus the fact that you're beautiful is a plus…" He teased while beginning to softly smile at her, to remember what his first friend in Port Charles looked like.

She quietly laughed, "You're so sweet Spinelli…Such a lady talker…I don't know how you do it, but some how you make everything seem less…"

"Problematic?" He guessed, "Well I guess it's just a year of living with Stone Cold…"

She softly laughed, "I never asked you, but are you okay? I heard about Devlin being Michael's shooter and Jason killed him."

"Yeah," Spinelli slightly laughed thinking how different things were yesterday, "He had a knife to Maxie's…throat," he touched his own throat as he thought back to the incident.

"_Spinelli do something!" Maxie cried._

"_Stone Cold!" Spinelli shouted for Jason to fire his gun._

_BANG!_

"Spinelli?" Lulu saw him jolt, "Are you okay?"

"_Spinelli," she sighed in relief as she put her arms around him._

"_Shh I've got you," he looked at Jason who was trying to get one last word out of Devlin._

"Spinelli?" She touched his hand again.

"Yeah?" He looked at her flustered snapping out of last night's nightmare.

"You were scared weren't you?"

He nodded, "He…He…He cut her…She got hurt because of me…." He glanced down at his hands that were shaking.

"Spinelli you're crying," she saw a few tears in his eyes, obviously there was more to it all, to last night, to his feelings for Maxie.

"No I'm not," he sprung up from the couch.

"We can talk about it," she looked up at him wanting to help him the way he had helped her.

"You don't like Maximista so I don't think that would be a good idea," he turned away from her.

She got up from the couch, "It doesn't mean that I can't see what's going on here, Spinelli…" She put her hand on his cheek.

"You like her, so…" She closed her eyes completely in aw of what she was about to say, "So go for it."

He looked at her in disbelief, "You're not gonna tell the jackal to…"

"Spinelli I don't want to be like Carly who tells Jason who he can and cannot be with, whatever you feel for her, don't let me or anyone else stop you from being with her."

"That's very big of you blonde-maternal one," he smiled as did she just before she kissed his cheek.

"I'm gonna schedule an appointment with Dr. Lee for this week, will you come with me?" She hoped he would say 'yes', "I'm gonna ask Johnny to be there too, but, you're my best friend and I want you in this child's life."

"Like an uncle?" He guessed because Jason was an uncle to Carly's children and well, Lulu was a lot like Carly.

"Like a godfather," she suggested, "I mean you can think about it," she laughed, "you've got plenty of time to think about it."

He nodded while laughing, "Okay."

"Thanks, I'll call you," she smiled before hugging him, "Thank you for being the wonderful person that you are."

"No problem," he looked at the door as he hugged his friend for the last time, "Until I see you again, take care Lulu."

She leaned out of the hug reading his face, his words, they way his arms had been around her, it was like he was saying goodbye, "Okay, bye Spinelli."

"Bye Lulu," he smiled as she walked to the door.

As door the closed he softly said, "Goodbye blonde one." The decision to leave was all the more harder now, Lulu was depending on him, depending on him to be there for her and the baby whether Johnny was in it or not. But he told himself this was how it had to be; he told himself that he had to be like Jason, stone cold about his feelings for the people he cared for. He marched up the stairs after locking the front door and prepared for his departure.

Lulu stood outside his apartment after closing the door behind her and hearing him lock the door, which was something else he never did, lock the door. As she came to think of it, he never called her 'Lulu' and he certainly never said goodbye to her without saying 'blonde one'. In fact he never spoke with such clarity as he did when they talked about her pregnancy, something was up. As she walked to the elevator she tried to think of who might be able to explain his behavior and who better than his partner in crime, his roommate, his best friend, Jason Morgan.

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Now why can't Lulu be written like this on the real GH? LOL. I thought it would be funny if Lulu and Maxie were to be pregnant at the same time so that's why Lulu is pg. That should be fun. Ha, anyway don't forget to review and I'll have the next chapter up soon.


	4. He's leaving

**Chapter 4: He's leaving**

"Carly!" Jason shouted as he walked onto the floor of Metro Court restaurant completely soaked from the rain.

"What are you doing here? I thought we were meeting at the…facility?" Jason walked to the bar where Carly handed him a towel to wipe down his leather jacket, "Jason your soaked."

"Well maybe it's because it's raining outside and because a certain someone isn't at the place they're supposed to be at," he handed back the towel which seemed to be pretty useless it getting him dry.

"Well I'm just taking a detour," she looked down at her glass of alcohol.

Jason looked at the bartender, "You gave her a drink?"

"She owns the place," he looked at him like he had no other choice.

"Jason I'm not drunk, I just need something to help the pain, you could use one," she looked at the bartender.

"Maybe later at Jakes," he put his hand on her arm.

"Jakes, you remember Jakes Jason?" She got off the bar stool and planted her hands on his leather jacket, "The pool games…"

He looked at the bartender, _one drink my ass_, he thought, "Carly that was a long time ago."

"That's how it started, you and AJ," she buried her face in his chest, "Michael, Jason…" She whimpered.

He put his arms around her, "Come on let's wait for Sonny in the lobby."

"No," she leaned away, "I've got to do a few things."

"Carly," he looked at her like everyone at the hotel and the restaurant could be left alone for a few hours.

"I need to call Jax," she frowned, "he had to take some meeting with Kate, so I'll be right back." She let go of Jason's hand.

"Carly," he sadly said her name knowing she felt alone in all this, she couldn't bare to look at Sonny and her husband of course, what a surprise, he thought, Jax was gone when he needed her the most.

"Want a drink while you wait?" The bartender asked.

Jason turned around in annoyance, "no, but…" He leaned over the counter, "You or anyone on this staff is not to give her a drink unless her husband is notified, you hear?"

"yes sir, sorry sir," he walked down the other side of the bar to assist a customer.

Jason looked away from the idiot bartender to scan the room for Claudia Zacchara who lately seem to stick to him like glue, everywhere he was so was she, but luckily she was no where to be found, but to his misfortune Maxie was.

"Bartender!" Jason motioned with his fingers as he stared at Maxie and the man she was sitting with.

"Yes Mr. Morgan," he scarcely looked at the man.

"Who is that man sitting with that woman over there," he knew the bartender had to have known him because he had a drink that could only be served at the bar.

"Oh I'm not sure sir," the man was now cleaning a glass with a rag, "Um he ordered some twisty thing, is that what you want."

"No," he looked at the bartender who came to be very useless, "Just a coke while I'm waiting," he stared back at the bartender, "and don't use that glass." Jason smiled at him.

"Of course sir," he handed Jason a Coca-Cola in the can, "Sir that man, I believe he's a fashion designer."

"How would you know that?" Jason took a sip of his drink.

"Um he and the girl were talking fashion."

Jason nodded while thinking back to his conversation hours ago with Spinelli; he wondered if he was still in town, it had been three hours since he had last talked with him.

_Um Stone Cold please don't ask the Jackal to explain what he feels for the fashionista…Because I think my feelings for her might be real…might be more powerful than what the jackal felt for Lulu and I…my heart…_

Jason nodded his head, _this isn't right_, he told himself, _she deserves to know_.

He put the soda down and looked at the bartender, "Thanks." He tipped the bartender and then looked at Carly who was still at the phone and then made his way to the table where he could here Maxie's laughter.

"Excuse me," he looked at the odd fellow before turning to Maxie.

"Jason," she politely smiled wondering to what she owed this visit.

"I need to talk to you," he looked at her serious.

"Hey pal wait your turn," the man tried to keep Maxie's attention on him.

"It's about Spinelli," Jason insisted she would want to know.

"Is he okay?" She looked at him with worry in her voice.

"Hey um Jason, is that your name? I was kind of in the mid…"

Jason rolled his eyes and turned to the man, "Talk to the hand."

"Maxie do you know this man?" He looked at her wondering why they were being bothered.

"Um," she stared at Jason.

"Maxie it's important." He stared back at her and saw a nod that she would talk to him.

He walked away from the table hearing Maxie tell the man she would be back in a second.

"Okay Jason this better be good because that's the number one…" She stopped as he interrupted her with his hands on his wiping his hair that was soaked from the rain, "He's leaving."

"What?" She looked at him confused, what did he mean by "leaving".

He said in almost a fit of rage, "I mean gone as in leaving town and never coming back."


	5. Alone

**Chapter 5: Alone**

Author's Note:

Hey guys! This is a chapter pretty much focused on Spinelli, sort of his last thoughts of leaving, a reflection of his time in PC. Nextchapter is really good. This chapter is based on the song "Alone" by Heart. So find the song on youtube if you don't have it or if you're not too big into the chapters with music suggestions then just read the chapter, but I think the music adds a little something to it. Thanks for reading! Enjoy and don't forget to review!

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He sat on his bed, mindlessly staring at nothing, mindlessly thinking of nothing, mindlessly listening to nothing except one thing.

_I hear the ticking of the clock_

An hour ago Lulu had stopped by to find him in a bath towel, in the time since she had left he had put on his suit, the suit he had worn the day of Anthony's hearing, the suit he had worn the day Maxie had kissed him in front of her. Dark grey dress shirt, light black tie, black dress pants, black shoes, it was as if he was dressed for a funeral and in a way he was, his departure from Port Charles.

_I'm lying here the room's pitch dark_

He had turned the lights out many minutes ago after leaving the bathroom content with the way he looked. Wiping his hands through his dry brown hair he put his hand on the leather jacket that Jason had given him as a going away gift, "the jacket or…" He looked to his left, "the jacket…" That went to his suit. Looking at both he knew if Maxie were here she would definitely have said no to the leather jacket, perhaps that's why he chose to put it on.

_I wonder where you are tonight_

He picked up the cotton jacket that went to his suit and as he unzipped his suitcase and neatly placed it in he got a whiff of her scent. Her neck had gently brushed up against the collar, her hands had touched the shoulders, her chest had rubbed up against the front, it was the smell that left him winded. He threw the jacket back against the bed in frustration and when he turned to see where it had landed, it was hanging right on his cell phone.

_No answer on the telephone_

"I'm sorry Spinelli; Maxie is out with Federico right now. Can I take a message?" The third assistant in the office had no idea that mentioning that one detail would crush his heart.

"No that won't be necessary."

_And the night goes by so very slow_

Turning his cell phone off, he hoped that if no one could reach him, the night would go by faster for he wouldn't expect a distraction, a detour or Maxie's call.

_Oh I hope that it won't end though_

He hoped it would end like in the movies, the girl comes to the conclusion that she loves him, the guy stays and they live happily ever after, but Dillon had told him once that love never begins or ends like in the movies, that's why movies are fiction, he said, movies are the magic we dream of.

_Alone_

He'd been alone most of his life, he could surely be alone again after being surrounded by people for two years, he could do it if he through himself into work, if he kept his mind wandering in cyberspace surely he could pull off being alone.

_Till now I always got by on my own_

He never had relationships that meant anything.

_I never really cared until I met you_

They were relationships that he was pretty sure were irreplaceable, he was never gonna find the people he met here anywhere else in the world, he never really cared until now.

_And now it chills me to the bone_

But if she ever got hurt, if they both, Lulu and Maxie ever got hurt, he'd never be able to live with himself, he could barely live in his pink room knowing what he did to Georgie.

_How do I get you alone_

A part of him wished he had told Lulu, a part of him wished he had told Maxie and Sam and others, but he knew deep in his heart, his mind told him that he wouldn't be missed. He grew up being a burden to his grandmother and soon enough he began to see the same look on their faces, the look of an obligation.

_How do I get you alone_

In a way he was happy him leaving was quiet. The only person he really wanted to say goodbye to was Jason. He had saved his life, he had given him the means to survive here, he was the one person he really felt guilty for leaving, Jason had given him so much and yet he felt like he hadn't kept up with his part of the bargain.

_You don't know how long I have waited_

He waited a long time to find the family he had found in Port Charles, he had waited a long time to find the girl next door, and as luck would have it, he found a lot of girls, just none that loved him in return.

_To touch your lips and hold you tight_

Her kisses meant nothing in the past, he knew she didn't held sex in the same regard as Georgie did, a kiss was a kiss to her, but to him, a kiss meant so much more, it meant the possibility of love.

_You don't know how long I have waited_

He had tried so hard to tell her the truth, but timing was never quite right.

_And I was going to tell you tonight_

Perhaps if she wasn't out with the man he knew or well presumed she liked maybe he would have told her, but if she really cared about him, she would have followed him home, she didn't so the answer was obvious.

_But the secret is still my own_

Till the day he dies, till Jason tells her, till Lulu screams it in her face, Maxie will never know how deep his feelings truly went for her; she'll never know that he felt more for her then anyone else.

_And my love for you is still unknown_

Maybe its love, maybe it's a crush, maybe it's bottled up feelings of nothing, but whatever it is, she'll never know, it'll be unknown forever and its better that way because the chance of her feeling remotely the same way about him is small, just as it was with Lulu.

_Alone_

He was destined to be alone, no blonde one would ever chose him, maybe, he thought, maybe he should try brunettes in the next town.

_Till now I always got by on my own_

He had no one before, no family, no friends, no one to show him the meaning of life, cause life is made up of the little things, the people you meet, the connections you make, the bonds you form.

_I never really cared until I met you_

He never cared about the little things until he had to give them up and as he stood at the foot of his bed with his eyes staring at his luggage, he couldn't move

_And now it chills me to the bone_

He knew once he touched the handles of his bags, he'd be gone and he didn't want to be gone, he wanted to stay and continue to live his life, but no body ever gets what they want in life, he told himself which made the chills he felt in his bones go away.

_How do I get you alone_

He never would.

_How do I get you alone_

Not today.

_How do I get you alone_

Not ever.

_How do I get you alone_

In a letter.

_Alone, Alone_

He took paper and pen out from the desk in the room and wrote down his feelings in a letter, a letter to be mailed later after he was long gone.

"Dear Maximista, it is with my deepest apologies that my goodbye to you is in the form of pen and paper for I know you deserve much better, you deserve a proper goodbye and I regret the fact that my heart is unable to tell you in person what I'm about to tell you in this letter…I once told you that I've never been in the position to give my heart, body and soul to someone, that if and when I do all there is of me will be all theirs until they wish to hand it back to me….Sincerely, the Jackal aka Damian Spinelli."

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Okay so it was a pretty short chapter of an interpretation of Spin's feelings. A little depressing I'll admit. We'll know what the rest of the letter says in upcoming chapters so don't forget about it. Don't forget to review and thanks a lot for reading!


	6. Stay, stay for me

**Chapter 6: Stay, stay for me**

Author's Note:

Hey all! This is a pretty hot chapter, well the end at least. I don't know if you guys listen to the music I suggest, but I think the scenes or chapters have more significance if you guys listen to the songs. If you don't own them you can find them easily on youtube. Music nod to the chapter is "Shining" by Kristian Leontiou. They lyrcis are just awesome, they're not written in the chapter like the last one cause I really couldn't fit them in without them being a bit of a distraction. As always enjoy and don't forget to review! Thanks for the support! Also if you guys want to post this story on a spixie fan site go right ahead! The more reviews the more I'm willing to write. :)

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"He's not leaving," she crossed her arms giggling at the idea.

"No wonder he didn't want me to tell you," he realized he was wasting his time, "Forget it, sorry I interrupted you with…whoever that is…" He turned away from her.

"Wait," she put her hand on his arm, "You're serious aren't you?"

"Yeah, I'm serious. Look I came home from the police station and he was packing, he's leaving."

She quickly looked down at her watch, "that was thr...three hours ago."

"Yeah," he was about to say more, but she interrupted.

"I've got to go, I've go to stop him," she turned away from him to the table, "Federico I'm sorry…Just call Kate," she grabbed her purse and made her way to the elevator.

"He might already be gone though," Jason frowned hoping she wouldn't be too late.

* * *

He walked downstairs with his suit case in one hand and his brief case with his laptop in it in the other. He set them right next to the duffle bag with the money in it and the keys and then ran back up to his room to make sure he had grabbed everything. Staring at the empty room with no personality in it anymore he walked to the bathroom to grab his small bag of toiletries and then took one last look at the room. Yup he had grabbed everything, his clothes, his books, his one pink pig stuff animal that Sam had given him as her going away present when she moved out and that was it that was all he owned. Running down stairs he put the last of his things in his suit case and then set his eyes on the living room trying to remember if there was anything left in there that had value.

The only place he had left to look was the closet and when he opened it, he forgot there was one last box to pack, his box of pain. He grabbed the box and then closed the closet as he walked to the couch. Sitting down he placed the box on the coffee table and hesitantly lifted the top off.

Looking at the contents he removed each item and then stared at them all as a whole, this was his life in Port Charles, this very box marked every significant event that had occurred to him and the second he realized that, so did Mother Nature as the lights went out.

* * *

She ran to her car as the rain fell getting her soaking wet, "Of all days…" She cursed.

Closing the car door shut she put her seat belt on and then quickly took her phone out calling his number, "Come on damn it!"

* * *

Maybe if he was staying he would have felt the need to get up from couch and light a few candles, but he wasn't staying much longer, maybe an hour more, maybe when the rain lit up he would take his luggage to the car and finally close the chapter on Port Charles. He looked at the pictures, the pink scrubs, the burnt candle, and the newly added bottle of perfume, all reminding him of the women in his lives. The pictures were of him and Lulu from one of their sleepovers. The pink scrubs still had the stain of blood from when Jolene took a bullet for him. The candle was from the night he found Georgie strangled in the park, the candle that he had placed on the steps and had some how reappeared on his nightstand. The small bottle of perfume was from a day he had come over to Maxie's house to help her with something for Kate and when she left the room to fetch him an orange soda he walked to her dresser and found the scent that left him mystified in her presence. He had other things in the box. Things he had collected of Sam's, chop sticks and an unopened fortune cookie from all their Chinese food dinners. Things he had of baby Jake's, well just a baby rattle. Things he had of his missions with Jason, the ear phone they had used to communicate with each other during the hostage crisis at the metro court. These things were details of his life that was no more.

He licked his lips of the warm tears that had run down his face and then placed all the items in the box and placed them carefully in the black duffel bag. He slid his hands in his pocket and turned to the living room remembering the place he had spent over a year in, a place that held so many memories close to his heart, so many tender conversations, so many questions that had gone unanswered, so many late nights that had saved the people he was about to leave.

_You know its funny Spinelli, but you and I do make a great team...don't touch me and don't go on about me being the master and you the grasshopper…And none of that wingman stuff either._

_But Stone Cold! _

_Spinelli we can brothers okay? And don't come up with some silly name for that, we help each other out, we talk about the women in our lives, we're friends…friends who are kind of like brothers, happy now? _

_Yes. _

He laughed at the couch, at the desk, at the stairs, at the place he was standing in, Jason had been a great friend, a brother, and the only one that ever looked out for him that ever cared what happened to him.

As he motioned to the door he realized there was one thing left to do, "Wouldn't be a proper goodbye without a toast."

He walked to the fridge hoping to grab a bottle of Orange Soda, but then he remembered that he and Maxie had drank the last bottles yesterday, "Tequila it is."

Walking to the bar he set the bottle on the counter and a shot glass and poured a drink, "To Port Charles, may the Jackal never forget you."

* * *

Driving out of the parking lot like a lunatic she sped down the road going above the speed limit and yelling at every red light she came across, which was every one as fait would have it.

"Spinelli pick up!" She called him again, "You answer the phone and come to my rescue all the time and now when I really need you, you aren't there!" She threw the phone down in the passenger seat in frustration and swerved into the other lane and came to another red light.

To make time go by she looked at herself in the mirror, her hair was a mess, her make up had run and for the first time, she didn't care. All she cared about was getting to him.

"And next on 91.4 Mix FM radio the song, Shining by Kristian Leontiou," the radio man announced before apologizing to the listeners for giving a wrong weather report earlier, "It's actually raining cats and dogs out there, sorry for the report that it would be clear skies today."

It seemed like the longest red light in the history of red lights, "Come on, come on!" She hit her hands on the steering wheel.

"Yes!" She put her foot on the gas pedal and sped off trying to drive as carefully as she could in the rain that was starting to come down faster and harder then any storm that had hit Port Charles since the night of the black and white ball.

* * *

The thundering startled him making him drop the glass, "Yikes." He looked down at the ground to see broken glass.

Spinelli never really believed in superstitions, but he couldn't help but see this as strike two. The first was when the lights went out and the second was the glass breaking. Using a rag from the kitchen he wiped the glass into the rag and then walked into the kitchen and dumped it all into the trash.

Walking back into the living room he used the little bit of light shining through the windows that Jason often looked out of and check to see if there was anymore glass on the floor, but there was none, he had cleaned it up well.

Getting up from his knees his eyes caught the windows of the balcony doors. Wandering to the doors with his hands in his pockets he stood there and watched the rain fall from the sky of black clouds.

* * *

She looked at her watch, some how she had been able to condense a half an hour's drive into a little less then twenty minutes, "Okay one more turn and then…" She heard the engine roar.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me," she looked ahead at the traffic coming her way which didn't exist because no one was on the road, they had the sense to keep out of the storm.

The good thing was that Jason's penthouse was the next turn, she was already on the right road and all she had to do pull into the apartment complex, that was the good thing. The bad thing was that her car had died right about a couple hundred feet from the apartment complex, right in front of Sonny's coffee shop. What a coincidence.

Parking the car she grabbed her purse and grabbed her car keys and sprinted to the apartment complex.

* * *

He watched the rain run down the window, he could stare at it for hours thinking of the time he wasted, the opportunities missed, the things that slipped through his fingers. Looking at his hands, his hands that had held others, that had touched blood, that had been used to bring the dead back to life and had ultimately been used to kill, his reason for leaving became clear, so clear that he realized there was no more time to waste.

Walking from the window he was all set to go, he opened the door to the guard standing outside, "Take this to the car, here's the key." He handed him his luggage, "I'll be down in a minute."

The guard nodded taking the key's from Spinelli's hand as well as the suit case and brief case.

"I'll bring the duffel bag, take everything else," he walked back into the penthouse where the door accidentally closed behind him and stood in front of the desk where his hat and jacket to the suit he was wearing was resting.

"What am I forgetting?" He asked himself while spreading his hands out on the desk, "What am I…" Then he saw the 32 cent stamps.

"That's right," he smiled, "Upstairs…"

* * *

She ran into the apartment complex pounding the up button to the elevator, "Come on!" She looked up at the elevator to the right of her which was closer to the first floor then the other, "3, 2, 1…" She heard the ding and jumped into the elevator just as the other elevator opened with the guard in it taking the luggage.

Till this day, especially today, she wished Spinelli lived on a different floor, something more convenient than floor 15.

* * *

Looking at both envelopes of letters, one addressed to Lulu and the other to Maxie he walked from his bedroom with both in his hand. They of course weren't what they deserved, a letter was nothing compared to a real goodbye, a real explanation, but at the moment this was all he could do.

Walking past the pool table he heard a frantic knock, "I'll be down in a minute…" He looked up from the envelopes as the knocking got louder.

"It's open!" He shouted while walking past the couch, but obviously the guard wasn't listening or his hands were busy, "Okay just a sec." He tossed the letters on the desk and walked to the door where he was completely taken off guard at the woman standing right outside the door, soaking wet.

"That jacket so doesn't go with that suit," she stared at him, "Don't you remember anything I taught you?"

"Maxie what are you doing here?" He stood there with his hand on the door not having the heart to close it on her.

"Don't go," she softly said as she stepped to the doorway with the little light in the room shined on her face.

With his heart caught in his throat no longer able to speak as she moved from the doorway to standing right in front of him, he looked into her eyes and saw the hurt that he desperately wanted to avoid her feeling if she knew he was leaving.

Softly placing her hands on his cheeks she leaned in, "stay," she looked into his eyes and then ever so gently pulled him into a kiss whispering, "stay for me."

* * *

Don't forget to review! :)


	7. Here's to the night

Chapter 7: Here's to the night

Author's Note:

Okay so this chapter is named after the song Here's to the night by Eve 6. I love this song and thought of Spinelli and Maxie in this story. one note, the chapter will get a little sexually detailed, I don't think it's too bad or anything. Anyway hope you enjoy and laugh at the end. Lol. Don't forget to review, I really love the reviews guys.

* * *

She leaned out of the kiss looking into the eyes of not a man who was pleased to be kissed, but a man who hated that she kissed him.

"It's quite cruel to toy with me Maxie," he turned away from her.

"Toy with you?" She walked towards him, "Is that what you think?" She tugged on his arm.

"Don't!" He pulled his arm away, "The Jackal has had quite enough of this."

"You think you're being funny or sweet, but your not you're just hurtful." He brushed his hand through his hair while his other hand was in the pocket of his pants, "I'm leaving tonight whether you like it or not, I'm gone."

"Spinelli," she suddenly realized how serious he was because he had dropped his usual vocabulary.

He saw her walk towards him and he put his hands up in defense, "No."

"So that's it?" She threw her hands up in the air, "You're just gonna leave me?"

"You don't need me," he couldn't believe what he was saying. On any given day he couldn't tell her how he felt, but tonight he wasn't just being honest, he was speaking in terms that he rarely spoke of because it meant letting his guard down.

"I don't need you?" She put her hands on her hips before raising her right hand to her chin, "Do you really think I'd travel in the rain at sixty miles per hour if I didn't need you? Do you really think I'd leave Federico, the world's best fashion designer, if I didn't need you?"

"You made your point, so you need me, now what?" He looked at her not really knowing what else to say for he still hadn't heard anything to make him stay.

"Stay," she asked not wanting to beg, but her tone practically said it.

"What for?" He turned his back towards her for the couch.

"What for?" She laughed in disbelief of what he just said, "What do you want me to say? Huh?"

"Do you want me to beg you to stay? Because I will okay, I will beg you to stay because if you leave my world will come crashing down. If you leave I'm almost certain that I will make some stupid mistake at work or some bad decision and I won't have you to come fix it or you to stop me from ruining the life I've built which by the way I couldn't have done without you."

He turned around to face her, "Is that the speech you rehearsed in the car in case kissing me wouldn't do the job?"

"God, why are you being such a jerk!" She didn't understand where this was coming from, he never said things like this to her, "Don't you get it? I'm trying to tell you how I feel about you!"

"And what do you feel?" He shouted as he walked towards her.

"I don't know!" She shouted as she met him.

"Maxie I don't have time for 'I don't knows' I have a plane to catch so unless you want me…"

"Shut up!" Maxie shouted.

"Forget this," he began to walk past her not realizing that when she said 'shut up' that she meant she wanted to talk.

She quickly placed her hand on his chest, "What I meant when I said 'I don't know' is I don't know what I feel for you."

He glanced away from her hand to her eyes, her eyes that were so blue that even in the dark with as little light that the moon shined in the room her eyes glistened and for that brief minute he was all hers.

She bit her lip, clenching her jaw, afraid of the outcome of her honesty, "I don't know what I feel for you because I've never quite felt it before."

"I've never had a friend who became more than that and I'm afraid that if I was to turn this into something more…that if it didn't work out that I'd lose my best friend and I can't lose you. I have lost too many people in my life to lose anyone else. So I'd rather have you as a friend then take the chance of us hating each other because we couldn't make it as lovers."

He cupped her cheek with his right hand before softly, but quietly whispering, "I could never hate you Maximista."

She put her left hand on his wrist with a slight hesitance to what he was saying, "You say that now, but…"

"Never," he leaned into kiss her the way he had always dreamed of.

It was one kiss, one kiss made by him that would change everything. Leaning his forehead against hers with her eyes closed, Spinelli had no idea what to do now. This was all new to him. He had never kissed a girl where there was meaning behind it, he had never touched a woman where he wasn't scared of rejection, he had never really been with anyone.

"I think that might be one of the scariest, but best kisses I've ever received," she leaned away from him looking at his eyes that were filled with uncertainty.

She looked down at the ground wondering why it took her so long, why she had waited so long to act on her feelings, "Why didn't I ever…" She glanced up at him getting lost in her feelings that had never presented themselves until tonight, she felt no need to finish her sentence.

He felt her arms around her neck and then saw her smile, her realization of what had always been there, but had gone unnoticed, and then her ever so slowly leaning into kiss him.

"Maxie," he reluctantly looked up as she leaned in closer to his lips.

"What?" She softly asked, "As long as you promise we'll always stay friends then…" She didn't understand that what he was about to stay was still an option.

"This doesn't change anything," he removed her arms from his neck, he had no idea when he had learned to be so smooth all of the sudden, why now under pressure had he been able to act so cool.

He held her hands in his; he never thought he'd get the chance to hold such hands of hers, "I still have to leave."

"Why?" She didn't understand.

"You know why," he formed a frown in the corner of his mouth.

"No, not because of my father, Spinelli he doesn't matter, okay? He has said that about every guy I date, how he doesn't like it, how it's dangerous, he just doesn't want to see me happy."

He looked at her knowing that wasn't true, "He does want to see you happy, Maxie you will find someone else who isn't dangerous to be around, you will find someone who talks like this all the times and not in rare occasions like I am now." He slightly humored himself, "You can have anyone you want."

"But I want you," she gently took the hand in hers and walked him to the couch.

"Maximista please don't make this harder than it is," Spinelli tried to get up but grabbed held onto his hand and he didn't have the heart to let go.

"Spinelli, I've been with so many guys that have been the same, the same personality, but you're different, that's why this works, that's why I believe it will work."

"It's not that I don't believe it wouldn't work," he looked down at the ground, "Commissioner sir was right, people get hurt around me, Georgie died because of me."

He looked up at her who was nodding in disagreement, but he continued to explain, "You just said you don't want to lose anyone else, but I'm in a criminal organization, what I do for Stone Cold is dangerous, illegal. I'd rather leave with my life, with our memories," he kissed her hand, "Then die leaving you with what could have been."

"If you leave now I'll still wonder what could have been, it doesn't change anything," she didn't see the difference, "What if you stay and you get body guards and you take self defense classes," she slightly laughed in her head at what she just suggested, but anything she thought to keep him here.

"Come on Maximista," he raised his hand to her cheek smiling, "Body guards always prove to be not enough and a defense class? I shot myself with a gun last year…come on…" He sweetly looked at her giggling.

They took a brief moment laughing at the idea of him taking some kung fu class, "You've lost so many people, Jessie, Georgie, Cooper, I don't want to be another person you have to bury, that's not fair to your heart…"

He pointed directly to it, "A heart can only take so many heart breaks."

She took his hand pressing it against her heart, "You feel that?" He nodded.

"My heart is strong," she smiled at him, "It's strong because you repaired it."

Her words made his heart fluctuate faster than it was already beating, "Then my surgery was a success, I'm checking you out of the hospital, you've made a full recovery."

He saw her face light up with giggles, he loved hearing her laugh, besides her bright smile, her laugh was something else he was going to miss.

She had been pondering this thought for the past couple of minutes not at all realizing she'd end up saying it out loud, "I'll come with you."

"I can't let you do that, you love being a fashionista to the glamorous Kate Howard, I can't take your dreams away from you," he suddenly found himself pushing her bangs away that had just fallen in her eyes.

"Then…Then," she tried to think of more options of more ways to keep him here.

"I'll never forget you," he told her taking Jason's advice to tell her all the things he ever wanted to say, "You'll be with me every where I go and maybe one day I'll come back and I'll see you in the distance, a famous fashionista and I'll remember tonight, I'll remember the night, the geek almost got the beauty."

She wiped a tear from her eyes; he was saying all the things she never really thought he'd ever say to her, but deep down knew always knew he could. "Will you do something for me?"

"Anything," whatever she wanted, he could grant her one last wish.

"Be with me tonight," if she couldn't have a lifetime with him, whether they would have stayed friends or been lovers, she wanted to remember one night where they were together, one night to make up for all the lonely to come.

"Be with you?" He didn't quite understand what she was asking, did she want sex or his arms around her or just a night chatting about whatever.

She placed her hand on his cheek and kissed him, "I want to be with you just for tonight, I want to remember you." She leaned into kiss him again without even waiting for him to say something.

"Max…" He tried to get work out as she leaned her hands forward on the couch forcing more of herself on him.

"Spinelli this is my wish," she said as she kiss his lips again while putting he hand around his waist and her other around his neck, "This is what I want."

"Are you sure?" He asked trying to get her to slow down for a minute.

"Yes," she softly whispered looking into his eyes.

"Then I want it too," he wanted to make sure she knew that he wasn't just about to be with her because she wanted it, he didn't want to be a slave or some male prostitute in her eyes.

She smiled happy that he wanted to be with her too, that meant they were both consenting, they both wanted this night to happen, she had suggested it and he had gone along with.

"Wait," he suddenly stopped her as she tried removing his jacket while kissing his neck.

"What?" She leaned away to look at him.

"If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right," he looked at her not sure if this was what she wanted, but it was what he wanted.

He slowly got off the couch hearing Maxie confused, "Spinelli what are you…" And then she stopped when he scooped her up in his arms.

She had never been carried upstairs; it was quite a turn on, "Spinelli I never knew you were such a romantic…"

"Well you've never seen me romanticize you before," he grinned as he got to the top of the stairs.

"I think I have, but…Not quite like this," if she started looking back on everything that had happened in the past couple of weeks surely she would have picked up on the details.

He opened the door, it looked slightly different since most of his things were now packed, it really was just a pink room now.

"Wow," she quietly said to herself realizing he was serious about leaving.

He gently plopped her down on the bed, where he removed his jacket and his shoes and socks while she unbuttoned her blouse.

"Don't," she softly spoke as he began to unbuckle his pants, "Let me." She crawled to the foot of the bed unbuckling his pants and then letting them fall to the ground, "It's more fun when we undress each other."

She pushed herself backwards on the bed where she now rested on the pillows waiting for him to seduce her. He stepped out of his pants when crawled onto his bed where he slowly made his way towards her, he preferred her to just take control, but she didn't want this to be a night where she lead them from one activity to another, he needed to have fun as well.

"The Jackal is coming…" He spoke in a serious and perhaps scary tone in hopes of turning her on as his hands wandered to her black skirt where he slowly pulled it off acknowledging the black launderette.

"Come and get me," she teased and his confidence went up, "Hmm where shall the Jackal hack into first…" He leaned his body over hers where face was now inches from hers.

"Right here," she put her arms around his neck kissing his lips while he slid his hand around her back. She leaned up from the pillows on her knees where he got the inclination to take off her white blouse while she loosened up his tie.

Licking his lips at the surprise he found her shirt he patiently waited for her to unbutton his dress shirt, "Maxie…"

"Yeah?" She smiled as she undid the last button and started sliding the shirt over his shoulders so it would slide off.

"I'll miss you," he wanted her to know if he hadn't already hinted it, that she was going to be something he missed saying blonde one to.

"I know," she sweetly smiled kissing his cheek, "I'll miss you too." She kissed his lips and then his neck and then slowly kissed his shoulders.

"You're beautiful you know blonde one?" He said into her ear as he kissed her cheek and the put his arms around her waist where she lied down on the bed.

He began penetrating down her neck he leaned over her body and put his arms around her back to unhook her bra, "You're sure about this right?"

"Yes," she said with confidence as he tossed her bra to the side.

"I just don't want you to have any regrets," he looked up at her before kissing her chest.

"Cause I will never regret this, no matter what happens, I'll never look back and say I wish we had never done this…"

"Spinelli I won't regret this," she raised her hand to his cheek softly looking into his eyes that were afraid that she'd look back on this with regret, but the only thing she regretted was that they perhaps hadn't done this sooner, "Stop worrying."

He slowly nodded taking a minute to fully grasp what she was saying and then he kissed her chest all the way down to her waist where he made his way to her underwear and suddenly he realized they had forgotten something, "Um I'll be right back…" He started to crawl off the bed when she grabbed him.

"What? What is it?" She thought he might be worried about performing or them having sex in general.

"Nothing blonde one, relax your beautiful self there, I'll be right back," he kissed her lips.

"Spinelli," she just wanted him to say whatever was on his mind.

He felt a little embarrassed that he didn't have any in his room, but it wasn't like he hooked up with girls all the time, no, Jolene in Port Charles was a one time thing, but he figured Stone Cold would have a few lying around the house.

"Maximista when need what is referred to as a condom," he wanted to laugh at just saying the word.

"Don't worry, I'm on the pill, we don't have to worry about a thing," she pulled him back where she motioned him to lie down on the bed and she have some fun with him.

"But are you sure? Wouldn't it be best just to have one on just in case, just to be safe?" He asked remembering what his teacher in health class taught him in high school.

"Spinelli," she leaned in close to his lips, "Tonight is about making a memory, a memory to last us the rest of our days apart, so lighten up a bit, we're safe, I promise."

* * *

Ha! "I promise..." lol. I'll try to get an update soon but I'm also writing another spixie story which also has Jolu in it, it's called Yours Forever, I suggest you look at that up and check it out. Um once again please review, I know people are busy, but I spend a lot of time writing the chapters to make them good and a review would be nice. I'll take whatever I can get, constructive, positive, suggestions ect. So hope you guys liked it. :)


	8. About last night

Chapter 8: About last night

He woke up to his pink room confused as to why he was asleep on the bed until he saw a hand on his chest. Suddenly his mind raced as the flashbacks of the night hit him and he was no longer the smooth operator Spinelli. Silently forming his right hand into a fist of congratulations to himself he heard her starting to wake up.

"Good morning blonde one," he slightly smiled hoping that she would wake up and still not regret the night.

She opened her eyes and looked around the room wondering where she was, but yet knowing who she was with and then she remembered what she said to him last night, _I want to be with you just for tonight, I want to remember you._

He saw the look that came across her face and knew exactly what he needed to say and do, "Um what time is it?" He needed a reason to look away from her.

It was six in the morning, "I need to call American Airlines and rebook my flight." He leaned up from the pillows.

"Spinelli wait," she realized that when she was remembering the night she must have given him some impression of uncertainty of it all.

She grabbed his arm leaning up from the pillows, trying to say something, but nothing came out.

He waited to see what she was going to say, but her mouth fell short and he looked away from her, "Get dressed Maxie."

"Don't do that," she said after he got up from the bed.

"Don't do what?" He looked at her confused as he stood at the foot of his bed.

"Come back to bed," she pressed tapped her hand on the bed wanting to make up for the way they woke up.

"Maxie stop trying to stall me," he reached down at the foot of his bed for his pants when he felt her touch.

Looking at his wrist he gazed up at her blue eyes where she spoke to him in the calm voice that he adored, "I'm not trying to stall you. I just don't want you to leave without knowing how I really felt about last night."

She took his hand and brought him back on the bed where they were now lying beside each other. He had no idea how he went from standing at the foot of the bed to now having his hand in hers and waiting for her to saying something to convince him that the night had not been a mistake.

"Spinelli," she played with his hand, "I don't regret last night."

"It's perfectly okay if you did, I understand, the Jackal doesn't have much experi-ence," he briefly paused in the middle of the word as began to interrupt him with a different opinion.

"The Jackal was very good at hacking into my system," she teased him seeing his face blush at her choice of words to explain their night of passion.

"Spinelli, all I want to do, is sit here and…"

"Okay," he didn't even wait for her to finish her sentence.

"Okay?" She looked at him surprised by his simple answer.

"Okay," he assured her before picking up the sheets so she could slide her legs under.

She smiled as he pulled back the sheets, "That's more like it." She tucked her figure under the sheets and then watched as he pulled them over her.

He looked at her as she brought herself closer to him putting her arms around his mid-waist and then ever so gently setting her head on his chest where his heart was beating so fast that the he wondered if she'd be able to hear the beats.

Spinelli once again had never been in this position before, holding a woman, for when he and Jolene did the deed last summer she couldn't wait to get out of the room with him so for him to be in the presence of someone whom he didn't want to run in the opposite direction made him smile, yet frown at the same time.

Feeling and arm around her back as he tried to open himself up to snuggling in bed with her, she touched his other hand that was right in front of her, "Where will you go?"

He wasn't sure to be honest, although he had told her Europe last night, he really had no idea where he was going, all he knew was that he needed to get out of Port Charles.

"I don't know," he watched as she put her fingers in the open spaces of his fingers and them clamping their hands together.

"Don't you think you should have a plan before you go?" She hoped that maybe she could talk him out of leaving, maybe he could stay for a few more days and that would be enough to keep him here.

He ignored what she said knowing she was trying to some how manipulate him, "You know how I was helping Georgie plan her trip abroad?"

"Yeah?" She glanced up at him seeing discomfort in his face.

"Well I think I'm going to follow her trip, go to the places she wanted to go to, see the things she wanted to see, learn the things she wanted to fill her bright mind of hers with," he felt that in doing this he was honoring her memory, that maybe if she was looking down at him they'd still be experiencing it together in the way she had always hinted she'd like them to do.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" She thought it might bring up painful memories of her, that it would do more harm then good.

"Yeah, I think she'd want me to do it," he looked down at her eyes that shimmered like the ocean, "It'll take my mind off of you."

She stared at him wondering why he didn't show more of himself to her, here was a man beside her that she thought she knew, that she thought she knew perhaps better than herself and yet she really didn't know him at all.

He slightly laughed thinking how ironic the whole situation was. He had leaned on Maxie to get over Georgie and now he was leaning on Georgie to get over Maxie, he never expected this, but then again he ever really expected anything from anyone or any place that he was in.

"What's so funny?" She placed her hand on his cheek happy to see his face suddenly light up.

"Nothing," he smiled before leaning into kiss her. Since when did he do that? He asked himself as he moved from her lips to kiss her forehead and then hugged her with his arm even more so then before so she was pressed up against his chest the way he knew she wanted to be. Since when did he know how to do that? Be free with her, to not be afraid to touch her or hold her or kiss her. It was mystery to him at the moment until he realized that maybe he was only doing this because he'd most likely never see her again.

"Yeah right," she rolled on top of him, "You've got that goofy look in your eyes."

"What look?" He looked at her like had no such thing.

"Spinelli I know you, you were just thinking of something that was either really silly or…"

"Or I was thinking of how beautiful you are, in the morning, last night…"

"Last night? Spinelli it was pitch black dark and my hair…"

He raised his hand to her blonde curls, "Your hair dried and…" He paused for a brief second changing his tone to the calming, soothing voice that Maxie would never admit that she couldn't get enough of, "…Even though it was dark, I'll never forget how you looked as the moonlight shined on your face."

Her heart skipped a bit as she tried to understand what he just said. He had said many things last night; before, during and even after they had sex and yet as she looked into his eyes that were savoring every second of how she looked so he could remember her wherever he was headed, what he said to her was something that would stick with her forever.

Staring into her eyes that were as sad he knew his were he hoped she'd kiss him, he longed to know what it was like to say something and have a woman fall for his tender poetic words.

"Spinelli," she wanted to say something in reference to how wonderful his words were, but she couldn't describe or put a label as to how sweet or kind his voice of reason was becoming.

In that instant he got his wish as she stopped trying to speak and placed her hands on his cheeks and kissed him with more passion than ever before than any guy she had ever kissed in her lifetime.

"Don't go," she begged as she rested her body on top of his, "Please don't go."

He placed his hand on her silky blonde hair, slowly stroking it while his other hand rested on her lower back, "I'll come back." He regretfully told her knowing he probably wouldn't, but the way she clung onto him made it impossible for him to say other wise.

"You promise?" She traced a shape on his chest that she was still lying on.

"Maxie," he wanted her to look up at him, "Please?"

She leaned from his chest while he pulled himself up in the bed, "Maximista…" He gently took her hand, but she looked away not wanting to hear what she knew was going to be an unfulfilled promise.

"Hey," he softly looked into her gaze, "I don't want to do this, but I can't lose another person to violence. I have done things I never thought would never have to experience."

"I had a woman shot my arms, she took a bullet for me," he looked down at her hand, "It was hard enough that Jolene was killer, that someone I had grown to almost love had betrayed me, but never the less she saved my life and I had to watch her fade away in my arms."

"Then I had to find Fair Georgie, already gone," he stopped as she turned to him placing her hand on his cheek, "I know."

"No you don't." He took her hand from his cheek and held it with her other hand in his, "I felt her cold body that had no warmth left in it, the wonderful person we loved just wasn't there anymore and something in me changed," he pressed his hand on the arch of his nose in between his eyes that had tears built up.

"Spinelli, I know, I know what it feels like, I lost Jessie and Cooper…" She lost them in almost the same ways he had lost Jolene and Georgie, that was the eerie part of it, he lost Jolene to a bullet as she lost Jessie to a bullet and they both lost Georgie and Cooper to the text message killer.

"Then you know that things like that change us, they change the way we look at life. I'm not saying I won't ever come back, but right now, it's not safe, for anyone in the mob no matter how small our job is, our connections, you're connection to me will get you killed…"

"No it won't, all you do for Jason and Sonny is hack into programs and find…"

"If a child can be target, you will be too," he interrupted her trying to get her to see that there was no way this was going to end.

She looked away completely devastated by his answers to everything, she really thought that he would change in the morning, not because she had slept with him, but because she had admitted her feelings for him.

"Hey," he softly touched her cheek to bring her attention to him, "Blonde one."

She slightly laughed for every time he said Blonde One it made her all tingly inside.

"How about we get a cup of coffee, I know this place that serves the best coffee in Port Charles…" He perked up with almost a sarcastic smile.

"Gee, I wonder which one it could be." She smiled knowing he meant Sonny's, "You don't even drink coffee."

"Well although it isn't nectar of the gods it's a close second on their list, so I believe a cappuccino won't hurt…" He chuckled before a long laugh set in between them and an awkward pause set in.

Thinking of what they were just laughing about she hoped that when he returned he was the same person, "Promise me." She raised his hand to her cheek slightly leaning her face on it, "When you do come back." She raised her other hand to his on the opposite side of her cheek, "You don't lose your sense of humor. You never grow up."

"Not with out you my love," he smiled before cringing at the fact that he just said love for he didn't want her to think that he did love her, it was just another one of his names for her that he just invented like two seconds ago.

She smiled brightly at him pulling him into a hug, "I'm gonna hold you to that." She whispered in his ear, "You better not change."

"I'll try not to, but if I do then…" He glanced down at her wondering what she would do if he couldn't keep his promise to stay the same man that had become her best friend.

"Then I guess it'll be up to me to bring you back," she took comfort in feeling his arms around her hoping that something would bring them together again. Preferably not the death of someone they loved, but something on a lighter happier note, something that would bring joy to their lives.

* * *

Next Chapter-The final goodbye and a call to action by the enemy.


	9. Goodbye Stranger

**Chapter 9: Goodbye Stranger**

Author's Note:

Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews! For this chapter listen to the song "Goodbye Stranger" by Lili Haydn. The song is mostly known from Army Wives, my favorite show, but I heard it on there and thought it would fit nicely into this chapter. So when you see the lyrics play the song. As always enjoy!

* * *

He looked down at his mug that was almost empty, he promised her one cup of coffee and now that one cup of coffee was almost over.

"Can I call you?" She asked as it began to dawn on her that there breakfast meeting was almost done with.

He looked up at her with eyes saying yes she could call, but whether he'd answer her, was a no.

"But you won't answer," she frowned leaning back in her chair taking a deep sigh.

"Maximista," he motioned to touch her hand, but she pulled away.

"You know," she leaned forward, "I get it, I can understand how living here isn't safe for you which wouldn't be safe for me because we're friends, but what I don't understand is the harm of a phone call."

_She just didn't understand how the business works,_ he told himself for many times Jason had explained to him over the course of a year how the enemy can track you and the people you interact with in anyway.

"I'm sorry," he frowned, "Look I know it's not a consolation prize, but…" He looked down at his hands cracking his knuckles.

"Stone Cold once told a blonde one that if he wasn't available to assist her that she count to ten and if this fair blonde one was still angered or upset then she could do whatever her heart desired," he looked up from his hands that were now resting on the table.

"Whenever you need me, whenever you're afraid or you're about to make a decision that you know might very well be destructive, I want you to count to ten…"

"Spinelli," she laughed at the idea, "You can't be serious."

"I am, it works wonders this advice from Stone Cold," he was about to say something else when Carly stormed through the building shouting for Sonny as she wandered to the back.

"Oh yeah I can see it worked great on Carly," she crossed her arms.

"I bet she didn't count to ten," he insisted that was to blame for her behavior.

She slightly chuckled at his interpretation of Carly, "Maximista…" She heard her sweet name quietly stir out of his lips that she couldn't get enough of last night or this morning.

He pushed his plastic coffee mug aside and gently touched her hand, "Since before I knew you, I knew from the blonde one and from many others that you were a force to be reckoned with."

She slightly blushed taking focus on his hands holding hers she listened to his words that would remain with her forever, "As I look at you now, as well as I know your heart, your body and your soul, I look at you knowing you are still a force to be reckoned with."

He looked into her gaze that was still staring at their hands, "Maximista…"

She felt his hand cup her cheek to bring her attention to his face that he hoped she'd never forget, "You will be okay, my fashionista will be okay because she is a survivor, forever and always." He slowly rose up from his chair to kiss her forehead.

_**Goodbye stranger it's been nice**_

He looked down at her touching her blonde hair and smiled as the memories that this place held for them came flooding back.

"_Blonde one will take notes"_

"_That's all I'm good for notes?" _

"_Well of course the Jackal PI err counting on the wounded blonde one for her superior…"_

Yes she sure knew how to make him speechless.

"_I'll get a pen…"_

As he turned away from her he stopped for a brief second remembering the infamous fights his blonde ones had with one another.

"_It wasn't us, it was you. And if you didn't lead on every guy that came into your life, Lulu, you wouldn't have to beat them off with a stick eventually -- or in this case, a wrench."_

"Better off than the guys that you date that wind up drug addicts or dead."

He sure wished he knew how to keep them from tearing each other apart.

"_Oh -- no!" _

Then of course she was the only one to be able to get him to speak English.

"_Um we shall reconnoiter in several minutes, okay? I -- I will come find you so we can look at that clue._

"_Spinelli, why couldn't you just say that to me?_He laughed putting his hand on his chin while sliding his hand into his pocket, it's been nice.

As he stood at the door she knew this was him telling her it was time for him to go. She got up from the table grabbing her purse and her empty coffee cup and tossed it in the trash that he was standing right next to.

"It is time we part ways," he leaned against the door pushing it open for her to walk through.

Following her outside the coffee shop they walked away from the entrance where they wondered what to do next.

"If you ever need anything, you call Jason, he owes me so he shouldn't have a problem helping you," he slid his hands into his pockets.

"Unless what I need is you," she let on, but he didn't react, he didn't want the goodbye to be painful, he just wanted it be easy, over and done with.

"Well Mr. Jackal," she smiled sticking her hand out, "It's been nice."

"That it has," he shook her hand, but it wasn't long before his eyes glanced upon hers and they were now looking into a deep blue ocean of the unknown, of what could have been.

_**Hope you find your paradise**_

She hoped wherever he went that he'd find the peace he was looking for, that he'd be able to make sense of the dangerous life he thought he led, but moreover he'd find a way to get over the grief and the responsibility he felt for Georgie's death.

_**Tried to see your point of view**_

After last night, she understood his point of view, she understood the grief it would cause him if something were to happen to her or vice versa, she knew it was for the best, but her heart was telling her something else, something completely opposite, once again she didn't know what to make of her feelings for the man she was desperately hanging onto.

_**  
Hope your dreams will all come true**_

He hoped she'd meet someone to make all her dreams come true. He hoped she find someone as good as him or Cooper or Jessie, someone to treat her the way she deserved to be treated, like a princess. He hoped wherever he was in the future that he'd stroll into a bookstore and look at the magazine rack and see her name flashed across the front cover. He hoped that if he saw her in the distance she'd have children, a family, a life that she'd be proud, a life that he'd be proud to know was all hers without his help.

_**  
Goodbye **__**Mary, goodbye Jane**_

"Goodbye my fair Maximista," he let go of her hands and slid them back into his pocket.

"Goodbye Spinelli," she put her arms around his neck before squeezing him, longing to hold onto him as long as she could, to make every second they embraced each other count.

_**  
Will we ever meet again**_

Would they ever meet again? It was the secret wish that years from now they find each other; they'd see how much each other had changed and stayed the same. They hoped that the decision that was being made right now would be for something that it truly would keep her safe.

_**Feel no sorrow, feel no shame**_

They leaned out of the hug, having no regrets about last night or this morning or even this moment, it was important to him that he leave with no regrets, he regretted how he and Georgie ended, he wasn't about to repeat history.

_**  
Come tomorrow, feel no pain**_

He walked away from her as she still held onto his hand, feeling her tug, he turned to her with deep sorrow in his voice, "Let me go Maxie, let me go."

She placed her hand on her chest, where each breath was short and slow just like her irregular heart beats that made it unbearable for her to say anything in return.

His hand swung back to his side, she had let go of him, reluctantly, but never the less did what he asked. He slid his hands back into his pockets and then formed a smile in the corner of his mouth, "Goodbye Stranger."

He turned his back to her slowly walking away from the scene that seemed to come out of one of his fantasies when suddenly he stopped to take one last look at her, but a look wasn't good enough. _No it wasn't. _

"Spinelli!" She shouted as he ran back to her putting his arms around her waist, slightly lifting her up from the ground while she put her arms around his neck.

She leaned away from their hug as he put her down where she removed her arms from around his neck to placing her hands on his cheeks, "Come back to me, okay? Come back," her voice cracked just before she leaned into kiss him for what they both hated to admit would be the last time.

"I will, I will," he sniffled as his emotions got to the best of him.

Leaning her forehead against his she felt his hand cup her cheek, "We will meet again." He didn't know how they'd meet again, but someday he knew they would, it would just be a matter of when. Walking away from her he was able to smile with content of how they were parting, of how they were saying goodbye to each other, to strangers who's relationship wasn't conventional, wasn't expected, but some how in the short amount of time they had connected had formed a life long bond.

"Ms. Jones?" Trevor walked by her about to enter the coffee shop, "Are you okay?"

She didn't know him very well, but remembered from the ball, his sly behavior and of course she couldn't forget all the names Spinelli had for him, "Why are you talking to me?"

"You seemed upset and being the commissioner's daughter and all I thought…"

"Let me get this straight, I am no longer the commissioner's daughter, he and I are not on speaking terms, so you can save all you're "just looking out for you" crap okay?"

"Right, well you definitely aren't the commissioner's daughter because if you were you'd speak to men as me with more respect," he tugged on the jacket of his suit.

"Well maybe men like you need to earn respect."

"Well we all can't be like your boy friend Mr. Spinelli," he slightly joked glancing up at the man who was driving off in his car.

"First of all Spinelli is more of a man than you'll ever be and second how could he be my boyfriend when he's leaving town," she became fed up with his presence and walked to her car wiping the tears from her eyes knowing she needed to put her drama with Spinelli behind her and focus on work.

He watched her storm off to her car and became curious by her words, "Leaving town hey?" _Hmm _he thought to himself,_ I think Mr. Zacchara would be very interested in your departure Mr. Spinelli._

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Next Chapter...Hmmm not sure yet, Spinelli will either be in europe while Maxie is beginning to realize how much she misses Spinelli, the chapter will fastforward a couple of weeks so Maxie might be able to notice some signs of pregnancy. She might have a chat with Sam or get Spinelli's card in the mail...my other idea is Spinelli will see his grandmother where something tragic happens which will ultimately involve Jason, Johnny and Sonny...so we'll see, it'll all evetually happen so it's just about the order. Anyway thanks for reading! Don't forget to review!


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